A Computer Don't Slow Down ‘cause it’s Gettin' Old -
a Computer Goes Slow when it’s full of Crap!
Slow computer?
You joking?
“My computer is so slow I’m thinkin’ of chuckin’ it over for a new model.
Shame really – nice computer – nothing wrong with it –
other than it’s sooo friggin SLOW!” . . .etc
You know the sort of computer I mean I’m sure – you sit there mesmerised as it takes half an hour to open a single web page, and all day if you should ever be so bold as to make an online purchase!
“Your computer is getting old”, you’re told by those who seem to know,
“It’s well past its slow-down date – get yourself a new model,
There’s nothing else for it. It’ll be great, it’ll be new – and it’ll be fast!”
All well and good – but they don’t seem to realise however brand spanking new a computer is, it’ll slow down before too long as it gets full of crap! My mum has a really old gal (computer gal I mean), and was starting to regret not buying a new one – before I went round and gave it a bloody good enema (so to speak)! She’s over the moon about it now – and putting all her poetry onto fancy web sites an’all – at her age!
Me – I was into slow computer syndrome for several frustrating years – until I learned what it’s all about – and it’s not rocket science I can assure you!
I discovered there are three basic elements to putting a slow computer into overdrive
- clear the crap
- fix the broken bones
- tidy up the bits
You can do this entirely for free – and get a smart reliable family saloon sort of computer drive, or you can pay just a little – and get yourself a Porsche or Lamborghini kinda computer job. The choice is yours! So here’s the details:
The smart family saloon computer job
- Clear the crap – go to Ccleaner.com and download Ccleaner. It’ll do some wonders in ridding your computer of unwanted stuff – just follow the instructions – simple.
- Fix the bones – not so easy to do this for free! (Ccleaner has a limited registry repairer – but more of this later)
- Tidy up the bits – if you’ve got a basic PC with Windows etc, go into ‘start’, ‘all programs’, ‘accessories’, ‘system tools’, ‘disc defragmenter’ – and defragment your C drive. It might take three weeks – but it’s well worth it!
Now the computer with Porsche appeal!
Thing about speed is: the more you have – the more you want! It’s really quite addictive. So if you’ve done your stuff, you’re now driving a nice kinda regular speed family computer, that should give you little trouble – if you keep up the house-cleaning. But at some point, I bet you anything, (if you’re anything like me or my mum anyways), you’ll not be satisfied without overdrive! Now here’s where I come in – as I’ve shopped around, been a few times around the block (slow and fast), and know the score when it comes to slow computer jobs and kicking them into Porsche mode!
So if you want speed – you’ll need:
- To clean up all the crap! Most of the crap that makes a computer slow is what’s called spyware and adware (aka malware) – sneaky little files that web sites put into your computer to check up and see what you’re up to on the Web etc. They aren’t viruses – so not particularly harmful – but boy, don’t they slow you down! There are many spyware/adware cleaning programs on the Internet – but you won’t believe the speed and efficiency of this one I’m gonna tell you about now! And it’s not that expensive. It starts off in first gear as you watch the files scanning up through to around 150 – but then it suddenly leaps into overdrive as it hits the thousands and hundreds of thousands of files in your computer – all in a few minutes! It’s all very self-explanatory to use – just make sure you put your correct email address in when you order, and you’ll always have the activation code if ever you should need it again in future. At the time of writing it will cost you about £12 odd to buy this superb machinery, plus £1.56 for some kind of tax. Absolutely amazing value I say! Go to adalert.com and give it a trial run before you decide to make a purchase, (and like any good Porsche, I bet you won’t be disappointed!) I’d be very surprised if you didn’t have a hundred or more bits of spyware etc in your computer on the trial run, (my mum had 491!) When you’ve purchased your superb machine, just pop in the serial number – and clean up the crap – end of story!
[When you buy it there are two small optional extras on offer, (which I didn't go for myself). Make sure you untick the boxes if you don't want them.] *note*(see note at bottom of page)
- Fix the broken bones – this of course refers to your Computer Registry – that bit in the middle that holds it all together like a skeleton. Apparently the registry develops a number of errors over a period of time, (or sometimes quite quickly), that slow your computer down considerably. Again there are many programs available to fix your Registry errors; they’d all need doing every so often to keep in top speed running. I’ve tried a number of these, but the one I want to tell you about beats the lot! It’s called Easy Registry – and it’s just that! You’ll find it at easyregistry.com. This one will cost you nearer £20, but again it’s a one-off payment, with free lifetime updates. And the good thing is it will do three computers for the price of one! This little baby managed to find over 1000 small errors in my computer registry – when others found a maximum of 166. And Mum had over 1500! The download process is against self-explanatory, and shouldn’t give you any trouble. This superb program not only fixes the registry, but also has many optional extras for speeding up your Web browser, cleaning duplicate files from your computer, etc. Tremendous value!
[However - a severe warning! Along with this wonder child of a bone-fixing machine comes at least three optional extra programs for free. Don't touch one of them with a barge pole! This is called Driver Replacer. I repeat don't touch it! I ran it once and completely buggered up my wireless connection! I eventually had to restore my computer back to a time before I'd put the pesky software in, and it took me ages to get rid of it entirely. Not every thing for free is necessarily a good thing - and this one I can assure you isn't! Okay – that’s sorted.
Secondly there is also a free spyware programme called Spyware Cease. This is okay - takes absolutely ages to find any spyware though, and eventually finds nothing like the amount found by the aforementioned wonderful AdwareAlert - that I can’t stop raving about.
The third free program is called Advanced Defragmenter. . . read on . . .]
(plus there is also a free supadupa uninstaller program that gets rid of every last trace of anything you don’t want!)
- Tidy up the bits – this you can do this through your computer windows as I mentioned, but the free program Advanced Defragmenter that comes with Easy Registry is so much quicker to defragment – with the option to do a quickie job, or a more advance slow job. This is a great little program, so grab it for free and enjoy – and it’s got an amazing magic moving circle you can watch while it’s doing its stuff! You can also purchase the program on its own if you didn’t want the Easy Registry. It’s available at: advanceddefrag.com - you can try it for 7 days before you buy - (but don’t forget my warning about Driver Replacer, as you might get tempted here also!)
So there it is then – your very own shiny new (old) and speedy computer sitting on your desk just waiting to be revved up! Don’t forget – in fact, REMEMBER to run the AdwareAlert and Easy Registry at least once every week, (more often if you use your computer a lot), otherwise you’ll find yourself quickly burdened again with more crap – in a slow kind of way. And you can set the Defragmenter to run gently in the background while you work, which will keep your bits nice and tidy all day!
That’s it! . . . Hope this has helped?
(if so – send it around with the social bookmarks at the bottom)
So here’s to your new happy speedy computer,
Wishing you speed and success,
Steve
P.s. Who am I? You might well wonder if you just happen to land on this page! If you want to check me out, here’s my main web site: Steve Slimm.com. And should you want to be extra thorough and check out my mum as well, then go find her here: poetfreak.com – she’s a poet who also drives a Porsche!
*note* Re spyware removal software in general: As they are all in competition with each other, they tend to view each other as enemies (what’s new?). Therefore a program you could already have installed in your computer might alert you to a new spyware threat when you go to download Adware Alert! For example, you might already have spyware detector software incorporated in something like AVG. Unfortunately this may view Adware Alert as a threat (well it’s after some of their business, isn’t it?). You’d probably have to turn it off for a while to download Adware Alert. I have the two programs running side by side no trouble, once they’re installed. The AVG spyware remover does not remove from your computer anything like the amount that Adware Alert does - and it’s relatively slow too.
